diabolizes | pcs with psyche

No.

[ Thankfully for her, Wei Wuxian doesn’t beat around the bush with certain things. ]

I’m picky about who I get carried away with. [ He looks at her, trying to gauge her expression before continuing. ] I need to have some sort of feelings.

[ Even if he’s awful at identifying them, he’s realized at least that much. ]

You know… before Merlin died, he kissed me. I liked it, but I didn’t feel everything that I felt on Saturday night.

[ Psyche, when her guard is down, is transparent as glass. She gives him a little smile in return. ]

Did he? That sounds like Merlin.

[ She wants the story behind that, actually. But... no evading. She reaches for his hand. ]

...It's a little overwhelming how much I feel when I'm with you. So hearing you say that makes me so happy...

[ He squeezes her hand gently. ]

I like you. Were you afraid that I didn’t?

[ While he can easily miss signals targeted towards him, he does notice those things… but it’s in exchange for also being unaware of the signals he gives out. ]

[ She shakes her head, and after a moment's thought, leans closer to just rest her forehead against his shoulder. Maybe they can just talk like this. ]

I thought you did. I've been wrong before, though. But you're always so honest with me.

[ He turns his head, pressing a kiss to her hair. ]

I have no reason not to be. It’s so easy to talk to you, after all.

[ There’s a part of him that feels like he doesn’t deserve it, but after everything… he understands why he feels that way. ]

Sometimes I’m unaware of how others perceive the way I act.

[ He’s dumb. ]

[ She can't help it. That gets a little laugh from her, and her whole body relaxes against him when his lips brush her hair. ]

I think that's one of the things I like about you. I've gotten so used to people who consider their every move and how they look... you follow your heart, no matter what other people think. That's how I feel watching you, anyway.

[ Sometimes "following his heart" is "relentlessly teasing others," but the point remains. ]

I do.

[ No thoughts, only doing whatever he feels like. It's worked out so far! ]

It's strange, though. I had never liked anyone before coming here.

[ There's the matter of Lan Wangji in their teenage years and those feelings he needs to untangle when it comes to his sexuality, but that doesn't matter now. ]

Never?

[ Even though he's a little older than her... she feels like she should be embarrassed about that. She really did manage to fall head over heels for the first person she met when she stepped out into the free air for the first time. ]

Then... was I the first?

[ Is she more happy about that, or guilty? She still doesn't know how to put that into words. ]

I think so.

[ Because again, there may or may not be someone back home that he's had an unrealized crush on for years. But it isn't as if anything could come of it, not with the situation that is Wei Wuxian's life both here and back home.

And he knows that she wants full honesty, so he continues. ]

There's a second person too. That doesn't diminish how I feel, though.

[ Oh? Her heart gives a little jolt at that, and she turns her head enough to look up at him. ]

I think... I'm not afraid of that. I trust you.

[ He wouldn't have said he had feelings for her if he didn't. She squeezes his hand gently. It wouldn't be fair to push the weight of her hopes on him, but just maybe... ]

Can I ask who it is, though?

You aren't?

[ And as much as she says she trusts him, he trusts Psyche to be telling him the truth with that as well.

Wei Wuxian sighs, feeling a little bit relieved. His answer is immediate, however. There's no need to hide it from her—not like he would want to anyway.. ]

Wang Lu.

[ There is a considerably more measured reaction to this that would be much more appropriate. But a few years of socialization haven't cured Psyche of her first honest reflexes when her guard is down. She straightens instantly, her eyes shining, and abruptly tightens her hold on his hand. ]

Oh! Really? You do...

[ And there are normal reactions to have to this other than laughter, but Wei Wuxian bursts out into it anyway, still holding tightly onto her hand. ]

Pfft! What's with that look?

[ Wei Wuxian! She's been so stressed about this! She thwaps his shoulder with the hand he's not holding, even though she laughs too. ]

Stop that! I just... he's so nice, and... have you talked to him about this?

[ Since yesterday? Probably not. ]

Hey!

[ That just gets him to break out into another fit of laughter as he continues squeezing her hand. ]

I haven't. Do you want me to? I know you said you weren't afraid of it, but don't put blame on me for asking again.

[ He trusts her to tell him how she feels, at least. ]

[ Well, now she's finally relaxed enough to try. She gives him a wholly unrepentant smile and snuggles closer. ]

I think it would be more fair to both of you. If you wanted to. And I think it would make me happy.

[ She pauses a moment in uncertainty. Maybe it's too much to explain this early? But maybe he deserves her honesty. ]

I'm... a little afraid of my own feelings. And I'm afraid of the people around me being hurt because of them. That's what I'm really scared of right now. Two people I... [ too soon, ] care about, caring about each other, that doesn't frighten me.

[ He reaches up with his free hand, letting his fingers card through her hair. She really just continues to prove how sweet she is. ]

How I see it is that it's best to let your feelings be known while you can still say them aloud. Let's live with no regrets.

[ She leans a little into the caress, smiling back at him. It's a little ridiculous that him looking at her like that is enough to get her heart beating faster. ]

That's another thing I like about you. I think you're right. We don't know what will happen tomorrow, but... we have right now, don't we?

That we do. We might not have forever, so right now is the most important thing.

[ The thought of not having forever hurts, but he can't delude himself either.

That will only make everything all the more painful should things go downhill. But he won't think about that and instead focus on how nice her hand feels in his. ]

[ She gives a little nod and shifts a little to lace their fingers together, resting her cheek on his shoulder again. "Forever"... even once they find a way out of this place, there's too many open questions there. But she won't let it steal the joy from this moment. ]

I'd been thinking that even before, but this place made it real to me. Is it strange, with everything that's happened, to still be happy about this?

I don't think so. We're allowed to feel all sorts of things at once. Our feelings about our situation aren't going to be a constant—other feelingsn are going to fill in the gaps. It's only natural.

[ He squeezes his hand. ]

Pockets of happiness are possible even in the darkest of times.

[ Thinking of whatever had come over her on Saturday of all days, she has to laugh softly in agreement at that. Maybe it was running away from everything that had happened, or maybe it was just being able to find those bright moments despite everything. ]

I think that's proof that people are strong. And maybe, it's why we can keep moving forward. You've already come through so much.

[ There’s always doubt in the back of his mind when he hears those things, but he tries to push it down. ]

And so have you. You can’t forget that either.

[ After all, she didn’t have much of a chance to spread her wings growing up. That’s hard too. ]

[ Does she sense that doubt... she studies his expression a little before giving him an almost defiant kiss on the tip of the nose. ]

I have. [ She knows it, even if she doesn't talk about parts. ] And I'm going to keep going, too. Every time I think I want to give up, I'm going to try to be stronger instead. That's what I've decided. You'll keep up with me, right?

Of course I will.

[ He lifts their hands up, giving hers a tight squeeze. ]

I have half a mind to say that you should keep up with me, but I have a feeling I'll need to do some catching up from time to time.

[ After all, he has a lot of faith in her. ]

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