pcs with psyche

[diabolizes]

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[chrysaline]

[ She gives his hand another squeeze for that and nods. It was a long time ago, but still. ]

I'm sorry. And I'm glad they're such warm memories. Is it alright if I ask what happened?

[diabolizes]

They were killed on a night-hunt. [ He pauses. ] Cultivators expel creatures with negative energy during night-hunts.

[ He figures she wouldn’t know. ]

After that, I lived on the streets for a few years and fended for myself. I was around nine years old when a family friend of my parents found me.

[chrysaline]

So they were cultivators like you.

[ Her brow furrows a little at that, but she nods, pressing herself closer. It's a familiar thwarted ache, knowing someone she loves was hurt and that she couldn't change that. ]

And that's when you met your brother and sister... [ Wait. ] And you tried to run away again a year later? Wei Wuxian!

[diabolizes]

Not quite like me, but yes.

[ But he laughs. Honestly, he deserves to be scolded. ]

I ran away because I know I made Jiang Cheng upset. He had several puppies that Uncle Jiang had to get rid of because I was too afraid of them. I already felt like I was imposing, so to know I made him so upset… I felt like I had to run away.

[chrysaline]

[ She cocks her head a little at that, but it gets filed away for later. The things she needs to ask about cultivation could fill a book. ]

You know... it's a little unfair to give me a reason like that. It makes it too hard to scold you. [ Her heart hurts a little, actually. ] I'm glad your sister was able to mend things for you both.

[ Can she even feel pleased about confirming her dog guess like this?? ]

[diabolizes]

[ And it would take a whole book to explain too… poor Psyche. ]

Haha! Well, don’t feel bad about it. Things were mended and we grew up together well despite all of it.

[chrysaline]

You love your siblings deeply, don't you? [ It's sweet. He gets a cheek kiss just for that. ] I hope you grew out of running away from the people who care about you, too.

[ Should she hold out hope for that? With a little laugh, she adds under her breath: ] I thought it was dogs.

[diabolizes]

[ He's gonna latch onto what she whispers so he doesn't have to think about running away from people. ]

You could tell?

[chrysaline]

You only named three animals, didn't you? Rabbits, cats, and dogs. You didn't mind Fou, and you were taking care of Chai's cat... I know they're not quite typical ones, but it was a guess.

[ Yeah!! Look at the deductive prowess she's gained over the last year. Hehe. ]

[diabolizes]

…Not bad.

[ Wow, she’s pretty good. ]

I used to fight with dogs for food scraps as a child.

[chrysaline]

[ Something like that, hm... She slides her hand up his arm, reflexively feeling for injuries that would have long-since healed. ]

I wonder if the things that scare us as children ever really stop being frightening.

[ Those years must have been so hard. But he's resisted her calling it that before, so she won't press. ]

[diabolizes]

[ Thankfully, she won’t find any old injuries. ]

I doubt it. Those are formative years. Sometimes, the things we experience will shape the rest of our lives.

[chrysaline]

[ Her hold on his arm tightens reflexively at that, but she gives a little nod of agreement. ]

I suppose so... I'm sorry. [ That it happened, or for stirring up those memories? Both, likely. ]

[diabolizes]

[ He shakes his head, bringing a hand up to rest over the one she has on his arm. ]

The past is the past and you bringing it up cannot hurt me. Don't be sorry for it.

[chrysaline]

[ She glances down at his hand, and then up at his face again before she gives a wry little smile. ]

Alright. But you'll tell me if I do, won't you? Just because you're used to being strong doesn't mean you should always have to be. Everyone has things that hurt them.

[diabolizes]

I will.

[ He smiles. While he may not do so every single time out of habit, he’ll try. ]

Can I ask you to do the same in return?

[chrysaline]

[ She nods, though her brow furrows for just a second. It's only habit. He said he would, so... she won't hold back with him. ]

I can do that. There's nothing I mind telling you. But some things I might not know how to talk about.

[diabolizes]

What might those things be about?

[ She doesn’t need to talk about them directly, not yet. After all, there are things Wei Wuxian cannot even describe himself. ]

[chrysaline]

[ She reaches up to wind her fingers through his hair again, studying the line of his jaw as she tries to think. ]

There's... some things in my childhood I can't remember clearly. I'll do the best I can. And... [ She bites her lip uncertainly. ] ...well, Eros. Not that I need to talk about him.

[ Most men wouldn't want to hear about their lover's previous fiance, right? This is probably more comfortable for him, too. ]

[diabolizes]

You can if you would like to.

[ He furrows his brows. Is she afraid he’ll be jealous? ]

The past is the past. It doesn’t matter to me who you were with, or what you did together. Feeling jealous over it would be ridiculous.

[chrysaline]

[ She shakes her head quickly. The idea of talking about Eros now, when she's happy, curdles her stomach. ]

I wouldn't. I mean, maybe I will. I don't want to hide things, but...

[ She gives a crooked little smile and cups his cheek briefly in her hand. ]

The past is the past. And you have nothing to be jealous over. But you might be the first man I've ever met who could say that and mean it.

[diabolizes]

[ He leans into that touch, momentarily closing his eyes. ]

Jealousy has never helped anyone, and it certainly wouldn’t help me. I’m fine with the way things have gone for me, so I have no reason to feel it. And in the end, if I’m the one you pick over him, then I don’t care about what’s happened before.

[chrysaline]

You are. I wonder how different everything would have been, if you'd been the one I met.

[ A silly daydream, considering the differences in their worlds. But she strokes her thumb along his cheekbone absentmindedly. ]

I don't think I have it in me to be jealous, either. I want you to be happy. If it's not with me, then... all I ask is that you tell me.

[diabolizes]

[ He wonders too, if he wouldn’t have felt so alone for so long. ]

It’s a bit of a relief that we’re on the same page, isn’t it? I would rather you tell me too.

[ He would be hurt, sure, but it’s easier to stomach honesty. Wei Wuxian falls silent as a thoughtful look settles on his face. ]

I think you’re really great, Psyche.

[chrysaline]

[ Ah, that's still a little embarrassing to hear. She smiles softly and drops her gaze again. ]

And I think you're wonderful. We really do end up agreeing a lot, don't we?