[ She's ambivalent on the weakness point. But she rubs her cheek a little against his chest like an affectionate cat. Maybe it doesn't hurt that he knows how scared she was for him, honestly. ]
Thinking that all I could do was watch while you were in pain was just... the last time my healing wouldn't work, it only hurt me. I was prepared for that. [ She would have kept trying until it listened to her, or else. ] But when it hurt you instead, I... it felt like I couldn't breathe.
[ She shakes her head a little, careful not to dislodge his hand, and has to let out a soft sigh of a laugh. ]
No, there's nothing for you to be sorry about. And I don't think you could have stopped me. [ At least she knows this about herself? ] I think we'll both just have to get used to the idea that I'll cry if you get hurt. And maybe Doctor Baizhu can teach me some medicine that doesn't need my divinity.
And I'd still be able to use that, even if my divinity went away. [ She likes this idea more and more... she grins at him a little. ] It's funny. I still expect someone to tell me I can't do things. No wonder it's so easy to talk to you.
Have you? It's one of the ways you did remind me of Medea. The first time I saw her, I thought no one could be more free than she was. More strong. It took me too long to understand that she had to be that way to stand up to everything against her. That she chose... the best she could from what was left for her. It's not really the same as freedom.
[ She wonders if anyone who takes on as much responsibility as Wei Wuxian seems to can really be free. ]
Wei Wuxian doesn't say anything for a while, simply because he has no idea what to even say to that when she has once again seen right through him, picking up on things he hadn't even realized for himself. ]
I used to be quite free, but as most things, it did come to an end.
Carefree, almost to a fault. I'd forget about any transgressions against me the next day because I'd let things go so quickly. Nothing ever really brought my mood down either.
[ And then life happened and he stopped talking about his feelings. ]
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But since he’s in talking jail, he doesn’t contribute whatsoever and just licks her palm instead. ]
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You...
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Bursts out laughing. ]
Hahahahaha!
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Then she squirms up and reaches for the pillow to moosh it mercilessly into his face. ]
So my mistake was using my hand...
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Can’t believe this is the next murder. ]
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Though after a second or two she does lift it again to make sure he can breathe. He's too cute for her to be ruthless. ]
That works much better. I'll remember it.
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[ He holds a hand up threateningly as he zeroes in on her side. ]
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I'll cry, and you'll feel terrible.
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You're right, I will. I felt terrible seeing you cry earlier this week.
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[ Embarrassing. She reaches for his hand and drags it back to her side again. ]
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I may have been coughing up blood, but I could still see, Psyche.
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I'm sorry. You were in trouble and Wang Lu was worried, and that was all I could do... it's so frustrating.
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[ He’s a little touched that she would cry for him, honestly. ]
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[ She's ambivalent on the weakness point. But she rubs her cheek a little against his chest like an affectionate cat. Maybe it doesn't hurt that he knows how scared she was for him, honestly. ]
Thinking that all I could do was watch while you were in pain was just... the last time my healing wouldn't work, it only hurt me. I was prepared for that. [ She would have kept trying until it listened to her, or else. ] But when it hurt you instead, I... it felt like I couldn't breathe.
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I’m sorry, Psyche. I wasn’t sure if healing would help me given my overall status… I shouldn’t have had you do it.
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No, there's nothing for you to be sorry about. And I don't think you could have stopped me. [ At least she knows this about herself? ] I think we'll both just have to get used to the idea that I'll cry if you get hurt. And maybe Doctor Baizhu can teach me some medicine that doesn't need my divinity.
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Learning medicine would be a fantastic idea.
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[ She wonders if anyone who takes on as much responsibility as Wei Wuxian seems to can really be free. ]
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Wei Wuxian doesn't say anything for a while, simply because he has no idea what to even say to that when she has once again seen right through him, picking up on things he hadn't even realized for himself. ]
I used to be quite free, but as most things, it did come to an end.
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Five years ago, when you said things began to get worse?
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[ He sighs softly, those idle patterns bringing him a sense of calmness. ]
Believe it or not, I'm a completely different person now.
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Hardship changes people, doesn't it? What were you like before?
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[ And then life happened and he stopped talking about his feelings. ]
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