pcs with psyche

[diabolizes]

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[diabolizes]

[ He lets her take his hand with no problem. ]

I may have been coughing up blood, but I could still see, Psyche.

[chrysaline]

[ She sighs and hides her face against his chest again. ]

I'm sorry. You were in trouble and Wang Lu was worried, and that was all I could do... it's so frustrating.

[diabolizes]

You don’t need to apologize for that. Tears aren’t a sign of weakness.

[ He’s a little touched that she would cry for him, honestly. ]

[chrysaline]

Hm. But they're not helpful, either.

[ She's ambivalent on the weakness point. But she rubs her cheek a little against his chest like an affectionate cat. Maybe it doesn't hurt that he knows how scared she was for him, honestly. ]

Thinking that all I could do was watch while you were in pain was just... the last time my healing wouldn't work, it only hurt me. I was prepared for that. [ She would have kept trying until it listened to her, or else. ] But when it hurt you instead, I... it felt like I couldn't breathe.

[diabolizes]

[ He runs his fingers through her hair in an attempt to be comforting. ]

I’m sorry, Psyche. I wasn’t sure if healing would help me given my overall status… I shouldn’t have had you do it.

[chrysaline]

[ She shakes her head a little, careful not to dislodge his hand, and has to let out a soft sigh of a laugh. ]

No, there's nothing for you to be sorry about. And I don't think you could have stopped me. [ At least she knows this about herself? ] I think we'll both just have to get used to the idea that I'll cry if you get hurt. And maybe Doctor Baizhu can teach me some medicine that doesn't need my divinity.

[diabolizes]

[ Ah, a fellow stubborn person. This is why he appreciates her so much. ]

Learning medicine would be a fantastic idea.

[chrysaline]

And I'd still be able to use that, even if my divinity went away. [ She likes this idea more and more... she grins at him a little. ] It's funny. I still expect someone to tell me I can't do things. No wonder it's so easy to talk to you.

[diabolizes]

I'm the last one who would tell you not to do things. I've always done whatever I wanted, why wouldn't I let you?

[chrysaline]

Have you? It's one of the ways you did remind me of Medea. The first time I saw her, I thought no one could be more free than she was. More strong. It took me too long to understand that she had to be that way to stand up to everything against her. That she chose... the best she could from what was left for her. It's not really the same as freedom.

[ She wonders if anyone who takes on as much responsibility as Wei Wuxian seems to can really be free. ]

[diabolizes]

[ Ah...

Wei Wuxian doesn't say anything for a while, simply because he has no idea what to even say to that when she has once again seen right through him, picking up on things he hadn't even realized for himself. ]

I used to be quite free, but as most things, it did come to an end.

[chrysaline]

[ She's comfortable with the silence, tracing idle patterns along his shoulder with her fingertips as she lets him think. ]

Five years ago, when you said things began to get worse?

[diabolizes]

That's right. Five years ago.

[ He sighs softly, those idle patterns bringing him a sense of calmness. ]

Believe it or not, I'm a completely different person now.

[chrysaline]

[ There's more pain there, she can tell. So much of his life has been, even if he makes light of it. She hums agreement and presses closer. ]

Hardship changes people, doesn't it? What were you like before?

[diabolizes]

Carefree, almost to a fault. I'd forget about any transgressions against me the next day because I'd let things go so quickly. Nothing ever really brought my mood down either.

[ And then life happened and he stopped talking about his feelings. ]

[chrysaline]

I can picture it. I can still see that in you, I think.

[ In a different form now. The cheerfulness he uses to deflect things, the calm acceptance of what's in front of him. She looks up at his face and reaches up to touch his cheek lightly. ]

It's nice to think of you so happy.

[diabolizes]

It is, isn't it? I don't know if I can ever be like that again, but I can certainly find a different form of happiness.

[ Which is all he can ask for, really. There's no taking back his experiences, or the loss of his innocence. ]

[chrysaline]

I think so, too. I think the strength you gained isn't wasted, but... I'd really like to see that someday. A peaceful world where you can be carefree.

[ Knowing even a fraction of what he's been through, she can't bring herself to say that she's glad for what brought them together. He would have been happier if it never happened. But, even so, they're here now. ]

[diabolizes]

[ He reaches out, putting a hand on top of her head, his fingers lightly running through her hair. ]

I think I have a good chance of finding it. Or, at least, I have hope.

[ Which he hasn't felt in a long, long time. ]

[chrysaline]

Then you will. As long as we have that, we can keep moving forward.

[ It's a nice thought. She leans her head into his touch and closes her eyes, trying to picture what that would even look like. A quiet life farming somewhere? Maybe something like that. ]

[diabolizes]

[ She would be right—that’s his ideal life, but he’ll take one of relative peace too. He combs his fingers through her hair. ]

We can. I know that you’ll be able to move forward too. You’re strong enough.

[chrysaline]

[ It's still always a little embarrassing to be told that, but coming from him? She can't help but smile. ]

I hope so. I'll keep trying to be.

[diabolizes]

That’s all you need to do. Not trying is the worst.

[ He laughs. ]

Wanna take a nap? Or do you want to do something else?

[ He slides a hand to her back, drumming his fingers. It’s up to her. ]

[chrysaline]

[ Ah, that was smooth. Her smile turns into a little grin as she runs her palms lightly up his chest again. ]

You're really, really sure you're feeling well enough? Because a bed might be nice...

[diabolizes]

Oh, I’m completely better.

[ He grins. ]

I’m well enough to do anything you feel like doing in this bed.