pcs with psyche

[diabolizes]

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[diabolizes]

Hopefully we'll find out one day.

[ He smiles a little, so it at least doesn't seem like she's added to his worries. ]

And if not... we can hope that his spirit is resting peacefully, knowing he at least tried to help us.

[chrysaline]

I think so, too.

[ Oh... good. She thinks he means that smile. She finally gives up on impulse control and just reaches out towards his hand. ]

It's so frustrating to feel helpless. But even though you can't use your powers on Merlin, I know we can find something we can do. Just... don't rush off by yourself, or anything like that.

[diabolizes]

[ He lets her take his hand, his palm and fingers slightly calloused from years of training with weapons. ]

I won’t, don’t worry. And I’m not planning on killing either, if you’re worried about that too.

[ Being honest about that doesn’t scare him, and he doesn’t mind if she knows. ]

Make sure you don’t run off either, alright?

1/2

[chrysaline]

[ Ah... that really does remind her of Medea. There's something so comforting about it. In two months of sword training Psyche's only managed to make her hands ache, but this feeling reminds her that people can become strong eventually. Without thinking, she holds a little tighter for a moment. ]

I never thought to question that. Silly of me...

2/2

[chrysaline]

[ Oops, she should give him his hand back. She releases it again with a little laugh. ]

I won't. To be honest, if I knew what I could do, maybe I'd be a little impulsive right now. But I won't do anything reckless. And I'm not planning on killing either.

[diabolizes]

[ Oh, was she thinking of back home? That tighter grip has him curious, but she lets go before he can think to comment on it. ]

I didn't think so. For some reason, you don't strike me as a killer...

[ She's too nice, but hey, maybe she'll surprise him. ]

[chrysaline]

I felt the same about you. I mean, I know you said you've killed people...

[ She gives a little wave of her hands that tries to capture the difference between these two distinct ideas. ]

I know I should know better than to judge on a hunch. But you're right. I've never killed anyone before. [ There's a tiny pause of some consideration before she adds: ] And I don't want to have to.

[diabolizes]

You shouldn’t have to. No one should feel as if they need to kill someone.

[ And he thinks that those who are from worlds where that simply isn’t their reality shouldn’t be forced into things like this. ]

I don’t regret what I’ve done in any sense, but that doesn’t mean I know others don’t feel differently, or that they wouldn’t live with that regret the rest of their life.

[chrysaline]

[ It would be nice if it didn't come to that, wouldn't it? But if he keeps making that face, she's going to reach for his hand again. ]

I think I would. I have a friend who fought in our last war... I know he would say that he doesn't regret what he did to keep his people safe, but that doesn't mean it doesn't weigh on him. It's a heavy responsibility, isn't it?

[diabolizes]

It is, but...

[ Hmm... how does he word this? Wei Wuxian has a sip of orange juice to buy himself a bit of time to think. ]

The deaths I have caused simply lay in my past. I've never killed unnecessarily or without good reason, so it doesn't weigh on my mind.

[ He thought it might at first, that very first time he considered killing someone, but then hunger for revenge overpowered everything else, rendering any ill feelings he felt towards killing moot. ]

[chrysaline]

[ She doesn't rush him, sipping her juice unhurriedly as he works through it. ]

You're a strong person. I'm glad, though. [ She would really rather he not be living in torment. And for someone like him who seems used to responsibility in other ways, it makes sense to her. ] Being able to make a decision and not look back... I admire that. And I envy it, a little.

[diabolizes]

There's no need to. It means that we simply operate differently.

[ And he fully believes that too. Wei Wuxian has always incredibly headstrong, and it has not always worked in his favor. ]

People appreciate someone who can look back and think about the decisions they've made. My way of doing things has earned me enemies.

[chrysaline]

Perhaps. But I wonder if you need at least some of that to be able to lead...

[ Well, leaving that behind is at least one decision she's made without regret. Maybe it's growth, in its own way. ]

I imagine it has. But you're also able to move forward without being trapped by the past, and the people who trust you know where they stand with you. ...That's what I'd think, anyway.

[diabolizes]

You’re right, I do make it clear when I dislike or distrust someone.

[ Sometimes he makes it way too clear. ]

I think it’s a skill, moving forward. You have to develop it and learn how to let the bad memories fall behind you.

[chrysaline]

So it just takes practice? Like any other skill.

[ Then there's hope for her yet. She smiles a little at the thought. ]

...Does it sound strange if I say I think your powers suit that? Even if it's "resentful energy," it's a little... like letting people who can't let go have a way forward?

[ She'll still pray for the dead souls to be at peace, but if she had the choice for herself... hm. ]

[diabolizes]

[ He contemplates that over another sip of orange juice. ]

Hm… I suppose so. I’d befriend a lot of the spirits, particularly the ones I had fight for me in battle. I think they were ultimately drawn to my power and ability to command them, but they weren’t always bad company.

[ He pauses. ]

Many other cultivators work to immediately find the way to set their spirits free, but they don’t mind if I keep them around a bit longer.

[chrysaline]

[ He said something like that the day they met, right? That there wasn't much anyone could do for them... but befriending them isn't nothing. She gives a little nod. ]

That's more how it is in Vasilios. We pray that god takes up the departed souls and gives them comfort. I never really thought about there being other ways, but... I think if I die with things unfinished, I want to stay. At least until everything is done.

[diabolizes]

[ Praying, huh? That’s interesting to him, and he’s honestly kind of curious about that.

He smiles a little. ]

That doesn’t surprise me. You strike me as the sort of person who doesn’t like to leave things lingering. I bet you’d even haunt your home to finish a load of laundry.

[chrysaline]

Over something that petty? Wei Wuxian!

[ Just for that, she's going to find a little cocktail umbrella to flick at him.

But she's still smiling. It's a little nice to be thought of as someone like that, hm. ]

[diabolizes]

[ That little attack just makes him laugh as he leans back on his stool. ]

Hahahahaha! Don't worry, Psyche! I'll grab someone to send you to the afterlife once you put all your laundry away.

[chrysaline]

You wouldn't do it yourself? That's terrible...

[ She tries to puff her cheeks at him in indignation before she has to laugh a little too. ]

[diabolizes]

[ He can't help but grin. ]

I did say I'd find someone, right? You shouldn't want the guy that raises the dead to do it.

[chrysaline]

Well, I guess if you can't...

[ She shakes her head and smiles back. ]

Why did you choose that, if most people learn to send spirits?

[diabolizes]

[ Ah… isn’t that the question of the century? Wei Wuxian looks thoughtful for a long moment before finally deciding to say it. ]

It’s a long story, but I was dumped into the Burial Mounds with no means of escaping. I had to teach myself how to control corpses and spirits to get out alive.

[ … ]

At that point, I could no longer send spirits like my peers.

[chrysaline]

[ Oh... she'd been expecting something more like picking between schools of swordsmanship. She draws in a startled breath. ]

But... why would someone do that?

[ Obviously, because they didn't want him coming back alive, but... her brow is furrowing more by the moment. ]