[ She looks up at him, quiet and calm, letting herself take in everything that means for as long as she needs.
She knows what it is to hate deeply. Is the reason she's never hated like that only because she hasn't lost as much? Or just because she's too cowardly? It's hard for her to know. ]
...I've never been able to stand seeing people in pain. If something like that ever happened again, I would probably fight you, too. I can't tell you that he deserved to live. But I would have wished for a quick death for him. Can you accept that about me?
[ He looks away, at a spot on the ground just past her shoulder as he thinks this over. Did Lan Wangji really do it out of care? As far as Wei Wuxian is aware, the man has never liked him even for a moment.
But what matters more is Psyche in front of him and in his arms.
Without all of that resentful energy flowing through him, he’s… tired. ]
Next time, I’ll kill quickly. But I can’t guarantee that I will should you ever die and I seek revenge.
[ She doesn't need a promise from him. That's enough. So she gives a nod and squeezes him tighter, letting out a quiet sigh of relief. ]
I can't do anything about that. But if it matters... I wouldn't want or need revenge. All I want is for you to be happy. And I would be so frustrated if I became the reason for you losing yourself.
[ She can't think of a time when she'd ever been afraid to die. But that would be so bitter, wouldn't it? For her death to be used to hurt someone she loves so much. ]
[ That laugh feels a little painful, she thinks. ]
Hm... would that be a threat, or a promise? But, I can do that. I'll haunt you and watch over you. I'd make sure that you took care of yourself and stayed—
[ Ah, she'd slipped before. She catches herself this time. ]
[ It certainly feels like a promise more than anything else. He isn’t sure what emotion wells up inside of him, a complex mishmash of them settling in his chest and up into his throat and choking him up.
Despite his best attempt to keep his voice even, it wavers. ]
[ Ah, that expression... it hurts, but it's a healing sort of hurt. She unwinds one arm to reach up and stroke his cheek gently before she tries to draw his head down to her shoulder. More softly, she adds, ]
Tears aren't a sign of weakness.
[ If he wants to cry, he should. He told her that, too. ]
[ She runs her fingers through his hair, slow and careful, and then just settles her hand on his back to rub gently. She won't comment on the trembling. ]
Then that's where I'll be. ...You've been so strong for so long. Won't you let yourself rest for just a little while now?
[ It's so easy to relax into his hold, to let him pull her where he needs her as her fingers continue to trace soothing patterns on his back. Is this what it feels like to be so important to someone? To be able to do something for them, even if it's something this small?
She'll keep soothing him for as long as he'll allow it, quiet and unpressing. ]
[ This soft yet stern presence is exactly what he needs, and while there is a small part of him that feels shame in accepting it as easily as he does, he can't help it.
So, he holds her tighter as if it'll keep her from ever leaving him.
He'll bask in this kindness for as long as she'll allow. ]
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She knows what it is to hate deeply. Is the reason she's never hated like that only because she hasn't lost as much? Or just because she's too cowardly? It's hard for her to know. ]
...I've never been able to stand seeing people in pain. If something like that ever happened again, I would probably fight you, too. I can't tell you that he deserved to live. But I would have wished for a quick death for him. Can you accept that about me?
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I can.
[ He looks away, at a spot on the ground just past her shoulder as he thinks this over. Did Lan Wangji really do it out of care? As far as Wei Wuxian is aware, the man has never liked him even for a moment.
But what matters more is Psyche in front of him and in his arms.
Without all of that resentful energy flowing through him, he’s… tired. ]
Next time, I’ll kill quickly. But I can’t guarantee that I will should you ever die and I seek revenge.
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I can't do anything about that. But if it matters... I wouldn't want or need revenge. All I want is for you to be happy. And I would be so frustrated if I became the reason for you losing yourself.
[ She can't think of a time when she'd ever been afraid to die. But that would be so bitter, wouldn't it? For her death to be used to hurt someone she loves so much. ]
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You’d haunt me yourself, wouldn’t you?
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Hm... would that be a threat, or a promise? But, I can do that. I'll haunt you and watch over you. I'd make sure that you took care of yourself and stayed—
[ Ah, she'd slipped before. She catches herself this time. ]
—stayed the Wei Wuxian I care for.
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Despite his best attempt to keep his voice even, it wavers. ]
I think… I’d like that.
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[ Ah, that expression... it hurts, but it's a healing sort of hurt. She unwinds one arm to reach up and stroke his cheek gently before she tries to draw his head down to her shoulder. More softly, she adds, ]
Tears aren't a sign of weakness.
[ If he wants to cry, he should. He told her that, too. ]
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I want you by my side as well.
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Then that's where I'll be. ...You've been so strong for so long. Won't you let yourself rest for just a little while now?
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[ He breathes out, breath hot against her collarbones, before he relaxes. There really is something about her that just… settles him.
His arms snake around her waist, pulling her closer. ]
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She'll keep soothing him for as long as he'll allow it, quiet and unpressing. ]
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So, he holds her tighter as if it'll keep her from ever leaving him.
He'll bask in this kindness for as long as she'll allow. ]