![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
[ Trauma time is over! Gossip time is now. ]
Oh... Helio, Marquess Niccolo. He's been close with Medea since long before I met them. I think they must be lovers. He knew it was me the moment he first saw me in Medea's body.
Oh... Helio, Marquess Niccolo. He's been close with Medea since long before I met them. I think they must be lovers. He knew it was me the moment he first saw me in Medea's body.
[ He tilts his head. ]
That makes sense. Someone that cares for you will recognize changes like that.
That makes sense. Someone that cares for you will recognize changes like that.
Doesn't it? He was always after me for so many things. "Medea wouldn't wear her hair like this." "This isn't the color ribbon she'd use." "Your posture isn't right. That isn't how she'd speak."
[ She gives a little laugh. ]
Actually... no one ever realized she wasn't me. Not Eros, and not my parents. I guess it wasn't very surprising. But I really admire how deeply Helio loves her. I thought I'd watched Medea closely enough to know her so well, but there's really no comparison.
[ She gives a little laugh. ]
Actually... no one ever realized she wasn't me. Not Eros, and not my parents. I guess it wasn't very surprising. But I really admire how deeply Helio loves her. I thought I'd watched Medea closely enough to know her so well, but there's really no comparison.
There isn’t.
[ He smiles a little. ]
I like to think that people who love you notice the things you don’t even realize.
[ Wei Wuxian himself isn’t great at noticing things but… he knows he’s gotten leagues better at it. ]
[ He smiles a little. ]
I like to think that people who love you notice the things you don’t even realize.
[ Wei Wuxian himself isn’t great at noticing things but… he knows he’s gotten leagues better at it. ]
I'd like to think so, too. That's what it feels like to me, to love someone.
[ Case in point. She reaches for his hand and squeezes it gently. ]
I guess there are some things you can't know without being told. That's just... what it means to be separate people. But I think seeing the way Helio treated me as Medea was the first time I really understood what love was. That he couldn't bear hurting me no matter how angry he was, because it was Medea's body. Even though he knew it was me. That he knew her, in a way no one else did.
[ Case in point. She reaches for his hand and squeezes it gently. ]
I guess there are some things you can't know without being told. That's just... what it means to be separate people. But I think seeing the way Helio treated me as Medea was the first time I really understood what love was. That he couldn't bear hurting me no matter how angry he was, because it was Medea's body. Even though he knew it was me. That he knew her, in a way no one else did.
[ He smiles, squeezing her hand back. ]
Seeing that care… it can change you. [ A thoughtful look passes over his face. ] Acceptance too. I don’t think there can be love without it. Approving of the actions of your loved one isn’t necessary, but trying to understand and accept it… I think your ability to do that for me made me realize how good it feels to have someone like that.
Seeing that care… it can change you. [ A thoughtful look passes over his face. ] Acceptance too. I don’t think there can be love without it. Approving of the actions of your loved one isn’t necessary, but trying to understand and accept it… I think your ability to do that for me made me realize how good it feels to have someone like that.
[ She squeezes his hand, and then just goes to fling her arms around his waist and press herself close. ]
Maybe there are times when you have to argue, because you love someone. But I hope you'll never doubt that I'll always hear you out. I always want to understand. I'm... so happy if I can be that for you. You're a kind man, Wei Wuxian.
Maybe there are times when you have to argue, because you love someone. But I hope you'll never doubt that I'll always hear you out. I always want to understand. I'm... so happy if I can be that for you. You're a kind man, Wei Wuxian.
[ He wraps his arms around her in kind, holding her there. ]
That you can still say that after what you’ve seen… I really do love you, Psyche.
[ She’s so good to him even though he doesn’t deserve it for all that he’s done back home, and yet… he’ll allow himself to have this. ]
That you can still say that after what you’ve seen… I really do love you, Psyche.
[ She’s so good to him even though he doesn’t deserve it for all that he’s done back home, and yet… he’ll allow himself to have this. ]
[ She knows what he means. And she knows what she's seen. The vision of it remains when she closes her eyes. But, still... she understands enough to believe that she's still right.
She rubs her cheek against his chest and lets out a quiet sigh. ]
I love you, too. And I trust you. I really... really, really do believe I know who you are.
She rubs her cheek against his chest and lets out a quiet sigh. ]
I love you, too. And I trust you. I really... really, really do believe I know who you are.
[ It's horrible to watch. Horrible to hear, even as the sight mercifully fades away, leaving her still shivering and slightly ill. Torture is a simple reality in Vasilios — for questioning prisoners, for punishing particularly heinous crimes. On the whims of the crown. It's not as though she doesn't know full well how Eros had intended to circumvent her healing to kill her. But it's still...
Her heart aches for Lan Wangji. How painful must it have been, to reach for the person he so clearly cared for and have Wei Wuxian slip right through his fingers? It aches for Wei Wuxian, too. The pain he felt at not being understood, even as he refused to really hear those words. How could he not see that for what it was? She wraps her arms more tightly around herself, waiting for the worst of the sensation of shock to ebb a little. ]
Her heart aches for Lan Wangji. How painful must it have been, to reach for the person he so clearly cared for and have Wei Wuxian slip right through his fingers? It aches for Wei Wuxian, too. The pain he felt at not being understood, even as he refused to really hear those words. How could he not see that for what it was? She wraps her arms more tightly around herself, waiting for the worst of the sensation of shock to ebb a little. ]
[ As much as he wants to reach out to Psyche and pull her close, he knows he shouldn’t. While he might feel numb and almost empty at that memory, there’s no way someone like Psyche wouldn’t feel sick from it.
And so, he waits. She can pass whatever judgement on him she likes. He’s used to it. ]
And so, he waits. She can pass whatever judgement on him she likes. He’s used to it. ]
[ She knows he's waiting. How hard must it be after that memory to stand there calmly while she works through things? So she takes a deep breath, and then a deeper one. As bruised as her emotions are right now she almost feels as if he's the fragile one.
She finally lifts her head to look up at him properly. Carefully, as if she expects him to dodge away from her touch too, she reaches out to try to take two firm handfuls of the front of his robe. ]
Wei Ying... will you keep running away from the people who love you, if I want to talk?
She finally lifts her head to look up at him properly. Carefully, as if she expects him to dodge away from her touch too, she reaches out to try to take two firm handfuls of the front of his robe. ]
Wei Ying... will you keep running away from the people who love you, if I want to talk?
Do you...?
[ He holds her tighter, doing his best not to squeeze too tightly. Can't do that when she's not feeling well, after all. ]
[ He holds her tighter, doing his best not to squeeze too tightly. Can't do that when she's not feeling well, after all. ]
[ No, he still could. That might be the best idea, actually. She tips her head up enough to smile at him. ]
You're not sure?
You're not sure?
[ He doesn't step back, but he hesitates in placing his hands on her. His brows furrow. Why would he run away from her?
He hasn't done that before. ]
...I won't.
He hasn't done that before. ]
...I won't.
[ He smiles right back at her. ]
Actually... I'm sure that you do. I think you know me better than you might think, actually.
Actually... I'm sure that you do. I think you know me better than you might think, actually.
[ She nods and takes a deeper breath, holding tight. It's not a hug yet. She feels a little too ill for that still. But she holds onto his robes and rests her forehead against him, closing her eyes again. Where does she start...? ]
You must have hated him... so much.
You must have hated him... so much.
[ He sure did! The revenge felt sickeningly good, but what did it leave him with? Not much. ]
He ruined my life, wholly and completely.
He ruined my life, wholly and completely.
Will you start with that first? What he did.
[ Is it cruel to ask him to explain that, when it won't make anything better? But she wants to understand him. ]
It doesn't have to be right now, if you need time first.
[ Is it cruel to ask him to explain that, when it won't make anything better? But she wants to understand him. ]
It doesn't have to be right now, if you need time first.
[ Well. Might as well tell her everything then. ]
We were sent to be educated by his Sect, in which he berated us and forced us to hunt monsters for him. Then, he attempted to leave us all in a cave with an almost unbeatable monster. Lan Wangji and I were forced to deal with it ourselves after we allowed the others to escape, and it almost killed me.
Shortly after, he destroyed the place I grew up and killed the Sect leader, leaving Jiang Cheng and Yanli without parents. Then he kidnapped Jiang Cheng and took his core away from him, which I replaced with my own. He later found me and threw me into the Burial Mounds.
[ That’s the short of it. ]
We were sent to be educated by his Sect, in which he berated us and forced us to hunt monsters for him. Then, he attempted to leave us all in a cave with an almost unbeatable monster. Lan Wangji and I were forced to deal with it ourselves after we allowed the others to escape, and it almost killed me.
Shortly after, he destroyed the place I grew up and killed the Sect leader, leaving Jiang Cheng and Yanli without parents. Then he kidnapped Jiang Cheng and took his core away from him, which I replaced with my own. He later found me and threw me into the Burial Mounds.
[ That’s the short of it. ]
[ She knows she's weak to what she wants to hear. But she still squeezes him a little tighter for that. ]
Maybe it's a little absurd when it really hasn't been that long. But it still makes me happy to hear it.
Maybe it's a little absurd when it really hasn't been that long. But it still makes me happy to hear it.
Lan Wangji. Your friend.
[ Who loves him, deeply. She presses herself closer, easing herself relaxed one heartbeat at a time. Loosening her grip on his robe. Letting her breathing even.
Her fingers clench in the fabric again at the brutal simplicity of those words. Broad strokes that encompass so much pain. Slowly, she nods. ]
And your brother. That's why... he was happy to watch. And to help.
[ Who loves him, deeply. She presses herself closer, easing herself relaxed one heartbeat at a time. Loosening her grip on his robe. Letting her breathing even.
Her fingers clench in the fabric again at the brutal simplicity of those words. Broad strokes that encompass so much pain. Slowly, she nods. ]
And your brother. That's why... he was happy to watch. And to help.
Hm, I suppose it hasn't, but we have spent a good deal of time with one another.
[ Not to mention, for Wei Wuxian, it's much easier to open up without the weight of Sect politics over him. He thinks it might be similar for Psyche. ]
[ Not to mention, for Wei Wuxian, it's much easier to open up without the weight of Sect politics over him. He thinks it might be similar for Psyche. ]
Jiang Cheng... I think he was relieved that I was alive, and also seeking revenge for himself.
[ Wei Wuxian will always come second above Jiang Cheng's own personal wants and desires, and he's fine with that. ]
As for Lan Wangji... he isn't my friend. We're acquaintances, but we really don't get along well.
[ Wei Wuxian will always come second above Jiang Cheng's own personal wants and desires, and he's fine with that. ]
As for Lan Wangji... he isn't my friend. We're acquaintances, but we really don't get along well.
He did seem glad to see you...
[ She doesn't know him. She can't imagine what the two of them had been through. And she doesn't know if he'd felt as empty as Wei Wuxian had, during that.
Slowly she wraps her arms around him in a proper embrace. ]
I thought... he must have cared about you a lot. Because I felt the same thing. It hurts, seeing you hurt like that. I wanted to reach for you, too. I'm so sorry.
[ She doesn't know him. She can't imagine what the two of them had been through. And she doesn't know if he'd felt as empty as Wei Wuxian had, during that.
Slowly she wraps her arms around him in a proper embrace. ]
I thought... he must have cared about you a lot. Because I felt the same thing. It hurts, seeing you hurt like that. I wanted to reach for you, too. I'm so sorry.
Page 23 of 28