[Somehow, he’s not expecting a hug of all things when he catches sight of Wei Wuxian. He doesn’t protest it, though, even if it does make him feel a bit overwhelmed.]
[ Wei Wuxian rests his hand on the back of Haruka’s head, pulling him even closer. ]
I’m sorry, Haruka.
[ While he has no clue what Haruka went through in that other dimension, he knows it wasn’t good, not with the way he and Xiao looked when they came back. ]
[Receiving all of this affection is so, so strange.]
You have nothing to be sorry for.
[He really doesn’t - it’s not like anyone saw this coming, even if it seems obvious in retrospect that something was terribly wrong with Lobelia. Haruka should have known better.]
[ He gives Haruka a squeeze, putting in some of the emotion that he felt years and years ago that he could never express into it. Hopefully it doesn't hurt. ]
I've had something very sudden and very traumatic happen to me. I know the toll it takes.
“Managing” doesn’t mean it’s not hurting you! Taking it on yourself doesn’t help, it just means you’re killing yourself in the process! That’s not better!
[ Well, that's the thing, isn't it? Wei Wuxian pauses, wondering if he should divulge this to Haruka before eventually deciding to go ahead. ]
So long as I'm careful, I'll be able to manage it for as long as I'm alive. I have to keep my emotions in check so that I don't let the resentful energy overpower me. [ ... ] Truthfully, having less access to it here has been good for me.
[ If he couldn't feel the difference in his emotional regulation, he would deny it, but... ]
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Wei Wuxian-san…
[He won’t burst into tears. He won’t.]
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I’m sorry, Haruka.
[ While he has no clue what Haruka went through in that other dimension, he knows it wasn’t good, not with the way he and Xiao looked when they came back. ]
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You have nothing to be sorry for.
[He really doesn’t - it’s not like anyone saw this coming, even if it seems obvious in retrospect that something was terribly wrong with Lobelia. Haruka should have known better.]
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[ He gives Haruka a squeeze, putting in some of the emotion that he felt years and years ago that he could never express into it. Hopefully it doesn't hurt. ]
I've had something very sudden and very traumatic happen to me. I know the toll it takes.
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I… I’m more concerned about Xiao. I think he had a harder time in there then I did.
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His Karmic Debt, right? He was in bad shape when the two of you came back. [ He shakes his head. ] If only I could draw that energy into me...
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[Well, vaguely speaking. It’s more complicated then that, Haruka knows, but the broad strokes work for now.]
He’d hate if you got hurt in this too…
[Still, it’s worrying, the state Xiao was in. All because Haruka still can’t protect himself against things like that…]
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[ Is it bad for him? Oh, yes. ]
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“Managing” doesn’t mean it’s not hurting you! Taking it on yourself doesn’t help, it just means you’re killing yourself in the process! That’s not better!
[That’s stupid. You’re stupid, Wei Wuxian!!!]
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I've gone this long using resentful energy. I would be fine. You're not underestimating my abilities are you?
[ But Haruka is right. ]
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[He's not immortal, right?]
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[ Well, that's the thing, isn't it? Wei Wuxian pauses, wondering if he should divulge this to Haruka before eventually deciding to go ahead. ]
So long as I'm careful, I'll be able to manage it for as long as I'm alive. I have to keep my emotions in check so that I don't let the resentful energy overpower me. [ ... ] Truthfully, having less access to it here has been good for me.
[ If he couldn't feel the difference in his emotional regulation, he would deny it, but... ]